for the love of money

I have to admit that I have worshiped at the altar of Babylon for most of my life. Mostly out of fear, fear of not enough. That was a gift my parents gave to me. I continue to "buy" into it. So, my attitude toward money has been a love/hate twisted twin joined by the back, two ways to go, relationship. And realistically, money is the woo-woo subject of our times. Nothing is stranger than the abstract "money".
Money makes the world go round, it has been said. Now that is not strictly true, since in actuality it is gravity and inertia, but outside of Religion, nothing will warp human nature like money. It has been said that money is the root of all evil, which I do not strictly believe, I vote for another abstract: "CONTROL". How would I know? I confess I suffer from the effects of control, the promise, the illusion and the disillusion. What a giant glue infected knot this is. I can't think of anything more important for me to do than inspect this cancer of my brain.
Which is what I am doing even as I type, and let me tell you, I am navigating in a thick fog on this one. Thick, thick fog. Of all the reasons to call on "God" for help, this control thing, this mess, deserves a cry for help.
It is getting worse, by the minute. I've lost the pseudo happy-go-lucky early morning lightness and now am deep in the "horror of the situation". I hope to not lose the thread of this thoughtout today.