Inflicting thoughts on unwary readers so that I can improve my tyqing skills

Thursday, February 22, 2007

Choosing a career

Now that I am all growed-up, it is time for me to pick a career. I have asked some of my friends to help me decide on what sort of work I would excel in. Oddly enough, after asking the question they tended toward pensive silence, followed by maniacal laughter. I took this to be a good sign, assuming that they hit on something truly stunning. This reaction happened often enough that I became somewhat hurt and jaded. When a suggestion came, it was something obtuse, like:"have you considered therapy?" or "do you enjoy traveling?". I soon saw the futility of asking for advice; nobody was taking me seriously. I became quite befuddled and my self-esteem went underground. Then I remembered the wise words: "when life gives you lemons......".
Yeah, that's it, I'll make lemonade and make a fortune! I'll be rich and famous and loved by all. My lemonade stands would stand the test of time and for thirsty humans, even in the very center of the vast and arid Sahara, lemonade would be freshly made; new friendships made too. What a dream it was and everything was going great until I came across one obstacle. Myself.
The truth is that I don't want to do anything. I am as motivated as, well, ........ . I do like spending time at the cafe; I have a near-perfect attendance record and am able to face the grueling task of an eight hour day, coffee in hand, witty and chipper with a certain air of sacrifice and martyrdom that lends me ( so I have been told ) a saintly visage.
Now that's all good and fine, but love doesn't pay the bills. We need MONEY. How to get it is the rub and most options are simply too mundane.
That's when I stumble upon a brilliant scheme. Let me explain. Most people get paid for being somewhere and doing something. The limitation is that you can only be one place at a time; a rather obvious failure of three dimensional life. Now, you can be absent from many places, doing a ton of nothing, without much effort. That's it! That should be my tack. I had finally found something that I can do well!

to be continued.....

4 comments:

gida said...

dear robert,
you are doing something but you haven't figured out how to get paid for it.
most people get paid for doing no thing or mostly nothing.

i can help you get paid for what you do, but you must first send me a check for $500.00

I have a company called spahrkle inc. my website will be up within the next two weeks.

spahrk as in ignite.

i ask for money in advance because i have no guarantee that you will follow through.

you will have to fill out a short questionaire and give me about a week to gestate. i will get back to you with the solution.

love gida

gida said...

P.S.

While $500 sheckles may sound a tad steep, you soon will be viewing this as a drop in the proverbial bucket.

Annabelle C.Vergne said...

Yes, something to dwell upon... Some people make and spend fortunes of taxpayer money sending their own folks to death, and you hardly make a living making a difference in your community...how about running for president,huh?

gida said...

thank you for your show of faith. I received your check and will soon send you my response. While a hundred dollar tip is a bit extravagant, I would be lying if I said I didn't appreciate it.
gida

About Me

My photo
I live in a quaint, little town, plagued with the specter of speculation and commerce. I am trailer trash,with wishes for good dishes. I shoulda died long ago, but like a rescue dog, didn't. I am indescribably scattered. I speak three languages. I walk a tenuously, true path. I am lucky. For myself, for others. God, it is said, protects orphans, widows and the innocent.