My Love Affair with Alcohol

Even though I have been flippant in the past about alcohol, I have been very concerned with the issue. It has been a love/hate relationship for many years. I have at various times gone on the "wagon" and fallen off. At times, the ride on the wagon lasted for years.
I became (once again) concerned with my reliance on alcohol this winter. With the onset of light deprivation, my normal tendency to depression is multiplied. I don't know this, but I accept that since alcohol is a central nervous system depressant, it would have compounding negative effects on me.
Instead of white- knuckling, my policy was to reduce my alcohol intake, but not terminate totally. I was hoping to not engage the automatic resistance demon that resides somewhere in my head. I would be able to drink once a week.
This has, for the most part worked quite well, without internal unrest or resentment. Though I have not stuck to the program to the letter, I have greatly reduced my natural inclination to self-medicate. I have also saved a ton of quarters.
Just writing about this has kindled the urge to drink. Fortunately today is Wednesday and I am able to launch into a drinking bout today if I wish. Which I am. Drinking. White wine.

What is notable is that the urge to drink has diminished greatly, to the point that mostly I no longer need to distract myself or agonize. Even when I deem it safe to imbibe, often I don't have the heart to get into it. I will, for example, start a glass of beer or wine and not finish.
What I have to watch out for is arrogance. Perhaps writing about this "success" is arrogant and I am in danger of a downfall. I have noticed this quite often in my life. I would like to be smug, but chances are, it bites me in the ass. There seems to be some kind of Leveler that turns the ground under my feet to quicksand if I start to celebrate my standing.

I know that it takes time to heal and that on the average, each day gets a little bit better.